Schools say ‘Go the Hull away’
 – By Susan Ovans

This year Hull has 1,061 students. A decade from now, the state forecasts at least 40 fewer young’uns romping local school corridors – and a corresponding loss of state aid.


The Hull School Department is ramping up a new promotion to encourage local adults to have more children. 
The “Go the Hull away” initiative is based on a Danish study that details how couples who enjoy a vacation away from the tensions of everyday life frequently find themselves expecting babies when they return home.

School administrators hope the campaign will help stem a significant decline in the number of students being educated in the Hull Public Schools.
The student population has dropped 30 percent in the last 15 years. According to the state Department of Education website, Hull’s numbers will continue to decline for the foreseeable future.
 This year Hull has 1,061 students. A decade from now, the state forecasts at least 40 fewer young’uns romping local school corridors – and a corresponding loss of state aid.
 The state pays a baseline amount for each child in the school system, which helps offset the amount local taxpayers must pay. 
Administrators hope an edgy new public relations campaign will make Hull’s notoriously cranky residents more amorously inclined.
 Simply stated, they believe that if more people get the hell out of Hull for a little R&R, they’ll make more than memories: They’ll make babies who will grow into Pirates.

[Editor's Note: For a full account of last night's SchoolCom meeting and the "Go the Hull away" initiative, see Thursday's Hull Times.]

Hull Times Publisher Susan Ovans wrote this completely delightful April Fool on her Facebook page and she got a ton of comments. All of us initially thought it was true – if not true, certainly plausible. School committees and school superintendents are always looking for ways to dream up kids.

Susan should win a Pulitzer Prize for this. 

You know how it is. We all wake up on April 1 and initially forget that it is April 1. So we are ripe for plucking. My son got a wake-up call from his cute Russian girlfriend telling him that her naturalization papers were not in order after-all (she has been her for 20 years) and she was being deported that same morning. A bus was coming for her. He said she was pretty good – she kept it up for a good five minutes. She would be leaving her kids here, as they are natural American citizens, and our son would possibly have some role in raising them.

Many years ago former Scituate Mariner editor David Johnson and i wrote up a bogus front page for the Scituate Mariner. One of the articles on that front page had Harvey Gates buying the Patriots. We had all kinds of details about how the Gates department store in North Scituate Village would now be selling Patriots shirts and hats and tickets to games. Harvey was of course in on it.

What made Harvey really angry is that people really thought he had purchased the Patriots. “They think I have that kind of money??!!” he said when he called the Mariner later that day.

 

© Copyright 2014 Tanna Bk, All rights Reserved. Written For: Tinytown Unleashed
Share